Thriving with ADHD in a Neurotypical World: Insight from a Therapist who Gets It
Okay… so…apparently it’s my turn on the practice blog. Yea. Me, the therapist with ADHD. The therapist who opened the mandatory email blog signup and immediately thought, “Ope. That looks awful. Let’s wait and sign up… never.”
Well, I waited. I made it . . . 8 days. That darn comorbid anxiety kicked in and unfortunately for me but fortunately for my coworkers here I am with a random burst of brain juice, a bouncing knee, and not a single idea where this writing will take me… err… us.
You might be wondering what ADHD stands for. In this case it stands for Ashlie Doesn’t Have Dopamine. Although the more boring clinical title is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. So, how does one “manage” ADHD in a world designed for nonADHDers?
I’d start by explaining what ADHD is but starting anything is rather awful. So awful that I couldn’t begin to THINK of a single idea for this blog. Do you know how many topics there are that I could write about? I don’t. I couldn’t even be bothered to consider them all actually. So how did I come up with this one? I didn’t. I just sent a message in a group chat to my English teacher friends,
“So, my job is doing this blog thing and we’re all supposed to sign up for two blogs. I think it’s only 200-300 words (it’s actually 300-350) but I’m struggling to choose a topic. Suggestions?”
The avid Substacker responded, “I think write about the ADHD brain stream of consciousness style! Then wrap it up with a few tips on managing task loads with ADHD.”
You mean, there’s an option where I can just unload everything on my mind? I don’t have to meticulously consider phrasing or who I’m going to cite where? It doesn’t have to be some jargon filled boring article?
If you or your child have ADHD you’re probably thinking, “Oh. My. Gosh. Did I write this blog? This sounds like my life.” I haven’t met a single ADHDer who doesn’t struggle to initiate an uninteresting task AND to discontinue a task that is incredibly interesting. It’s a paradox.
So what the heck am I … err… are you supposed to do about it?
Managing Tasks with ADHD
Break it Down
Big tasks can seem overwhelming. Hold up. We have ADHD, SMALL TASKS SEEM OVERWHELMING. You’re dreading a task? Break it down into smaller tasks and focus on one or a few at a time. Are you writing a paper for class? Don’t stare at the cursor on that blank page. Do what I did writing this blog post, free write! Just start writing or typing whatever comes to your mind. It can be bullet points, incomplete sentences, unrelated paragraphs. Just get some thoughts on paper and make decisions about them later.
For the verbal processors out there or those who like to “multi-task”, record a verbal brainstorm. Open the recording application on your smartphone and start talking. Just like free writing, it does not have to make sense. Just say what’s coming to your mind. Dreading having to listen to this again later? Most word processors have a dictation feature. Play your recording and watch your computer transcribe them to pages.
My secret that got me through graduate school, I always start by formatting. I create my header, make my title page, page numbers, and all of the headings and subheadings. It’s like its own task breakdown within the assignment. Sometimes we just need momentum and this can get it going.
Time Blocking
Timers are great tools and I imagine whatever you are reading this on has a built in timer. Look, a free tool! Set a timer for 5, 10, 20, 30 minutes… whatever you need. Commit to just one task during that time. Some people like to watch the timer, some don’t. Do what is best for you. This can really help prevent distractions and quite frankly, knowing where the finish line is makes it so much easier to start.
Externalize Your Brain
Make things visible! Use apps, planners, sticky notes, whiteboards, digital calendars, whatever works for you. Don’t expect your brain to remember everything; offload that onto something external.
I recommend trying the app Finch to gamify the process. It is specifically designed for us neuro-spicy individuals through its interactive and appealing nature. Your virtual pet will encourage you to complete tasks, manage routines, and even practice self-care and mindfulness through game-like activities. Finch is highly customizable which makes it ideal for individuals looking for short or long term use. You’ll be able to reduce your reliance on internal memory and reinforce consistent positive habits. Bonus, the app is advertisement free and the free version is all you really need. Say goodbye to boring paper planners you never write in and say hello to a cute little creature who thrives when YOU complete your tasks!
Accountability
Tell someone about that task you are dreading but know you need to complete. You can request to have them check in with you on deadlines or tell them once you’ve completed the task. Sometimes having someone else keeping us on track can give us that extra boost we need.
Do you struggle with attention or procrastination? Body doubling may keep you focused and motivated. Having someone nearby can encourage you to complete tasks with gentle and non-intrusive support.
Reward Yourself
You finished something! Celebrate! I don’t care how small it was. Give yourself a reward.
Take a walk, snuggle your cute pet, eat a snack, watch that YouTube video, play a quick game of Marvel Snap - I knew I wouldn’t make it through this blog without thinking about it - whatever is exciting to you! Positive reinforcement works wonders!
And what if none of that works today? Be kind to yourself! You’re a human. A beautiful human with ADHD. Tomorrow is a new day. You’ll get it then… or maybe at 2AM because… well… some days are just like that.
Oh my gosh. I finished the dreaded task. Off to a reward! Shall it be a marvelous snack or a round of Marvel Snap… or both?
